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Self-Love vs. Self-Care
Self-Love vs. Self-Care
By Alicia A.
By Alicia A.
Self-love is the foundation of one’s relationship with themselves. It is an internally generated and self-directed feeling of kindness that creates a happy, healthy relationship with oneself. Self-love is the ultimate gift of bestowing gentleness, care, kindness, compassion, and grace upon oneself. It is a profound acknowledgment of one’s own worth and a determination to prioritize and protect it. Self-love creates an ever-expanding sense of peace and harmony within.
Self-love is the foundation of one’s relationship with themselves. It is an internally generated and self-directed feeling of kindness that creates a happy, healthy relationship with oneself. Self-love is the ultimate gift of bestowing gentleness, care, kindness, compassion, and grace upon oneself. It is a profound acknowledgment of one’s own worth and a determination to prioritize and protect it. Self-love creates an ever-expanding sense of peace and harmony within.
Self-care is different from self-love. Self-love is an internal feeling of positive regard. Self-care is taking action for our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. It includes getting enough sleep, eating well, practicing meditation, and engaging in activities that bring us joy. It is how we treat ourselves with dignity, respect, and kindness. Self-love is extremely important! Our relationship with ourselves is the single most important relationship we are in. It is the only relationship we are engaged in all day, every day, 365 days a year. It is the only relationship we have always been in and will always be in until the day we die.
Self-care is different from self-love. Self-love is an internal feeling of positive regard. Self-care is taking action for our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. It includes getting enough sleep, eating well, practicing meditation, and engaging in activities that bring us joy. It is how we treat ourselves with dignity, respect, and kindness. Self-love is extremely important! Our relationship with ourselves is the single most important relationship we are in. It is the only relationship we are engaged in all day, every day, 365 days a year. It is the only relationship we have always been in and will always be in until the day we die.
Self-love is the cornerstone of our relationship with ourselves. The ripple effect of our self-love, or its absence, impacts and influences every single other relationship we are in, from our most significant family, spouse, and children to our work relationships, our friendships, and our acquaintances and interactions with strangers. Our current level of self-love is always in the background, informing every word and every action we take.
Self-love is the cornerstone of our relationship with ourselves. The ripple effect of our self-love, or its absence, impacts and influences every single other relationship we are in, from our most significant family, spouse, and children to our work relationships, our friendships, and our acquaintances and interactions with strangers. Our current level of self-love is always in the background, informing every word and every action we take.
To think self-love is insignificant fluff or unimportant is to live in a massive state of destructive denial because self-love is vital — vital like the air we breathe. Nurturing and cultivating it deserves our time, care, attention, and effort. That is why we are here: to focus on our most important relationship, the one we have with ourselves, and to cultivate the ever-expanding sense of peace and harmony we have within, called unconditional self-love.
To think self-love is insignificant fluff or unimportant is to live in a massive state of destructive denial because self-love is vital — vital like the air we breathe. Nurturing and cultivating it deserves our time, care, attention, and effort. That is why we are here: to focus on our most important relationship, the one we have with ourselves, and to cultivate the ever-expanding sense of peace and harmony we have within, called unconditional self-love.
The Four Character Defects
That Block Unconditional Self-Love
Our inner dialogue is composed of what we say to ourselves about ourselves and others all day long, sometimes even in our sleep. This creates our entire inner landscape.
Is your inner landscape a dry barren desert overrun by insidious emotional predators like shame, unworthiness, perfectionism, and self-criticism, who destroy your peace, serenity, and overall well-being?
Or, is your inner landscape a lush, verdant valley rich with life-sustaining emotional assets like unconditional self-love, worthiness, personal validation, and total self-acceptance, that enhance and expand your peace, serenity, and overall well-being and support you in living your optimal life?
Let’s take a closer look at the word insidious, what does it mean and why is it important for us to know regarding our ever-expanding unconditional self-love?
INSIDIOUS:
1. Proceeding in a gradual, subtle way, but with harmful effects.
2. Developing so gradually as to be well established before becoming apparent.
3. Waiting for a chance to entrap.
4. Harmful but enticing.
5. All pervasive.
SYNONYMS FOR INSIDIOUS:
Dangerous, Subtle, Cunning, Sneaky, Stealthy, Treacherous, Deceitful, Tricky
Clearly insidious is not a good thing!
1. The character defect that blocks UNCONDITIONAL SELF-LOVE is INSIDIOUS SHAME.
2. The character defect that blocks AUTHENTIC ATTENTION is INSIDIOUS UNWORTHINESS.
3. The character defect that blocks MEANINGFUL VALIDATION is INSIDIOUS PERFECTIONISM.
4. The character defect that blocks TOTAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE is INSIDIOUS SELF-CRITICISM.
In the LAVA framework for healing, we are sharpening our awareness of the insidious, and damaging, inner dialogue we have with ourselves around these four specific character defects and we are learning how to be aggressive in keeping a watchful eye out for them and attacking them when identified.
These are the emotional predators that hold our Unconditional Self-Love hostage and prevent us from establishing an authentic connection and deep emotional intimacy with ourselves, and we must treat them as such!
Manifesto for Healing Shame
Through Self-Forgiveness and Unconditional Self-Love
Shame, I see you, you lying, soul-crushing parasite, get out. You've whispered your poison in my ear for the last time. You've convinced me I was broken, wrong, too much, or not enough. You made me hide my light, shrink my dreams, and destroy my life, by convincing me that things I’ve said and done are unforgivable and that I have to be perfect in order to love myself, or to be loved by others. That’s BS!
Here is the Sacred Truth: I am a perfectly imperfect human being, and every mistake I've ever made is 100% forgivable. Every stumble, every failure, every single moment I fell short of ideal and hurt myself or others
is 100% forgivable and part of my sacred, messy, and magnificent journey.
I am allowed to make mistakes and learn as I grow. I am allowed to love myself unconditionally in the face of all my errors, mistakes and misunderstandings, large or small. What others think has absolutely no bearing on my ability to forgive myself and set myself free. I am allowed to be a perfectly imperfect human being, just as God made me, and accept myself without your toxic commentary always running in the background like a broken record of lies, lies, lies.
From this moment forward, I love myself unconditionally and declare that I am a shame-free zone. My past does not define me, nor do the opinions of others. My mistakes don't destroy me or my day; they help me love and embrace my humanity. My imperfections do not diminish me, they simply help me in staying humble and in constant contact with my Higher Power to receive Its divine goodness and grace.
Today, I choose self-compassion over criticism, growth over guilt, and offer myself the generous healing gifts of self-love and self-care.
Shame, you can go straight to hell where you belong. I'm done with your shame spirals and carrying the heavy burden of your weight around like a giant bag of rocks. I'm done believing your lies. I'm done dimming my light for anyone or any reason, especially you.
This is it. I am done. Today, I declare I am shame-free through God’s divine and loving grace. I now forgive myself completely. I love myself, I forgive myself, I believe in myself, and I am proud of myself.
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